Spicy 15 Bean Chili

Hola guys. Happy Wednesday ! Today's my moms birthday. Hopefully I age like her she looks damn good for 50 and drinks like a fish! Have you ever been talking to a guy who thinks he is sooooo cool and thinks that you care about this conversation when in reality you don't.. My life right now. Like lay off I don't think you're cool.. Anyway! Chili recipe:

Ingredients:

1 14.5 oz can stewed tomatoes

1 14.5 oz can crushed tomatoes

1 container cherry tomatoes

15 bean "soup" bag (can be found in the dried bean section. Comes with bag I 15 types of beans and a packet of soup mix. Throw soup mix away immediately)

1 jalapeño

1/2 sweet bell pepper

Cayenne

                              Chili powder

        Crystal or your preferred hot sauce

                              Frozen corn

                            1 small onion

                           2 cloves garlic

                              Olive oil

Method:

1. Soak beans over night in water. The bag should tell you exactly what to do but just make sure they're covered in water and they will expand! So make sure the bowl is big enough

2. Next day, caramelise your onions and garlic in a medium sized pot with salt, pepper, and olive oil

3. Add cans of tomatoes, and all the veggies. Chopped into small pieces. Let boil. Add cayenne, chili powder, hot sauce, salt and pepper to taste.

4. Cover and let simmer as long as you want (longer the better)

5. Uncover and serve with some reduced fat sour cream!

Easy right! Enjoy

Gluten Free, Dairy Free, Flour Free Chocolate Oatmeal Peanut ButterCoconut Cookies

What a mouthful! I had a hankering for something sweet after I finished laying out today, but didn't want to wreck my day by chowing down on some cookies even though I was really REALLY craving them! I decided to come up with a clean recipe for some cookies instead!

Makes 16 small cookies

Ingredients

2/3 cup steel cut oats

1/4 cup chunky peanut butter (all natural - the only ingredients should be peanuts and salt)

1/4 cup plain Greek yogurt

One ripe banana

Unsweetened shredded coconut

3 tablespoons dark chocolate

1 tsp agave nectar

Steps:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees

2. Combine all ingredients in one bowl and stir or mix until it forms a nice dough

3. Roll into balls and then roll in shredded coconut

4. Place on greased cookie sheet and bake for 20 minutes

These cookies turn out a bit more like muffins than cookies, but are incredibly moist and not too sweet! The coconut on the outside toasts up so nicely and is the best part id say! They aren't too high in calories, but still be careful how many you eat! They should be a treat not a meal :)

Cucumber Sub with Greek Yogurt Chicken Salad

I've been thinking a lot and I think the new theme of this blog is going to be "getting stoned while staying skinny" instead of the advice column it's turned into. This is because really all I've thought about over Christmas break is food and the state of my waistline. Smoking every hour on the hour tends to happen a lot more when I have no job, no classes, and a steady supply of great weed thanks to LD. So today's awesome recipe is great while high. Lots of crunch and flavor! I call it a cucumber sub, because there's cucumber in place of the bread. Awesome right?

Ingredients:

One medium cucumber

Canned chicken or shredded chicken breast

Small onion

Greek yogurt (abt two tablespoons)

Salt and pepper

Vinegar of your choice (1tsp)

I started out by cutting the cucumber open and deseeding it. I also shaved off some of the skin so it was easier to chew. The you combine all the chicken salad ingredients, and feel free to throw anything else in there. Mix and fill your little cucumber subs! Delish, clean, and low cal. Perfect snack for after that jay ;)

Chocolate Cinnamon Protein Bars

My mother is driving me absolutely mad! I now know that I will never ever ever move home after college no matter how great it seems. She's doing this "cleanse" for the new year, and today consists of only liquids which is making her a complete cow. Then when she couldn't take it anymore and reached for some string cheese, I commented on how if she was doing a cleanse she should have something more natural and she was again mean. And she keeps complaining about her stomach and headache. Well, I've been doing clean for a few weeks now and I've never felt better but she won't listen . Oh well! Today I made a few things because I'm about to go back to that hell hole that is UF and the food there :(. I made some protein bars to take with me for before class, and also some chilli because I've been craving it! The protein bar recipe was adapted from he and she eat clean and it's below. Upon tasting them, they are definitely "proteiny." Great flavor but not too terribly moist. And I just realized I forgot to add flax seed! Shoot. Oh well, they have a great flavor and the dough is better than the finished product, so I don't blame you for licking the spoon!

Ingredients:

2 cups oats, roasted in the oven without oil for 15-20 minutes

1 cup natural peanut butter no sugar added

1/2 cup 100% pure agave nectar (they used honey here)

1/2 cup unsweetened apple sauce

1 cup clean protein powder (I used chocolate, makes it delilsh!)

2 tbs 85% cocoa dark chocolate

2 tbs pecans, chopped

1 tbs cinnamon

Preheat oven to 350 degrees, and pour the oats into a pan to bake for 15-20 minutes.

While they are baking, chop your chocolate and pecans into small chunks, then combine all ingredients into a bowl.

When the oats come out, roll them into the dough but allow them to cool.

Then, place on a dish (I use a casserole dish) spread out evenly, and bake for 15-20 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. Let cool, then cut and store! Yum! Enjoy. Ill post the chilli recipe tomorrow!

So I do take back what I said about my mom.. she's a great lady and I love her a lot. Even when she's being a monster :) She really loved these bars for her cleanse. She couldn't stop talking about them! Give them a try.

Most of my getting high lately has consisted of obsessing over healthy food and eating, so sorry about these food posts. Today for lunch I had spaghetti squash with spaghetti sauce and a salad with lettuce picked from our garden with a dressing of oil and vinegar, garlic powder, and salt with eggs ham and ground flax seed. Yum! Only about 300 calories but so filling. I also had a clementine, my absolute favorite fruit. Clean and delicious! I dreamt last night about eating to my hearts content at a holiday party which is seriously the best, but when I woke up and felt nice and thin I was pretty happy. It's so nice to be away from that sorority house with all its shitty processed foods. For real, once I asked our chef what was in the marinara sauce and she added heavy whipping cream. Why? No wonder I've been feeling my fattest despite eating smaller meals. Hidden calories! I don't even want to know the ingredients in her food... Love Nina, hate her fattening food. When I got back its gonna be strictly salad bar and veggies and fruit. I don't even trust the chicken, so it looks like I'm gonna have to get a clean protein powder. I'm also gonna bake some protein bars to take with me!

Farmageddon

After realising that my life long dream is probably to become a healthy farming hippie artist chef, the universe sent me a message. I stumbled on this documentary on Netflix called "Farmageddon" which is about small, organic farms being taken down and run out of business by the FDA. It's super interesting and makes me want to eat clean even more! Check it out if you have Netflix or I'm sure you can find it on YouTube.

"Closure"

"We don't want closure, we want to be the ones to end it this time."

For a little while I was hooking up and basically dating this guy who shall go unnamed. I obviously thought we were going to date, because that's what always happens when I start talking to a guy. But this guy was different. He was a player and loving the game. He had piles of commitment issues, along with that bad hair... But I digress. When he broke it off, I went a bit nuts in a way I had never gone nuts over a guy. Like making sad playlists and laying in bed for days watching Tangled and eating everything in sight. That was not my proudest moment, or period of time I should say. However, a few months later when the mention of his name didn't send me reeling into tears, I started talking to my friends about it. I think my favorite line was "I'm over it, but I kind of wish I just had closure." If you have told yourself this before, listen to me crazy lady: the closure is that you two are not together. He doesn't want to be with you, probably because he is a fucking idiot because we all know you're fabulous, but nonetheless he is no longer interested. So, do yourself a favor and realise that it is just your ego that is making you think you're so in love with this guy. The first time you're rejected by a guy it is a huge blow to your ego. It makes you think WHY you weren't good enough for this one, and since you always want what you can't have you start to trick yourself into thinking he was really perfect. You look back on his good qualities, while forgetting that he is in reality a skinny, whiny bitch. When you think you want closure, you really just want to mend that ego by getting back together with him an then being the one to break it off. Admit it, it's true. But the more you try to get him back so you can execute this devious plan, the crazier you look. It'll happen, believe me. So save yourself a lot of trouble and stop trying to get this "closure." Find someone new, because chances are this jerk is 100% not worth it. And, as soon as you are TRULY over his stupid ass, he'll come crawling back to you talking about all the mistakes he's made and how sorry he is. Trust me, they always do. Tighten up before this becomes your only friend:

Post Work Out Delicious Shake

I had a great workout today that consisted of a seven minute warm up, a p90x type workout for 25 mins and then some yoga. Afterwards, knowing I needed protein but not hungry at all I decided to experiment with my new protein powder! Chocolate flavoured protein, water, frozen blueberries, scoop of peanut butter, scoop of flax. Blend it all up and you've got a yummy filling low cal post workout shake! The end of mine.. Drank it before I could document

FOMO and seeming like a bitch

I don't know about you guys but I always freak out about missing out on something fun and also seeming like I don't want to do something fun and seeming like a bitch for not going out. One word: relax. My friends don't respond all the time. It doesn't make me hate them. Also, you don't always have to go out. Trying to find a way to go out tonight was  way more stress than it was worth. Yes, I am in my bed and blogging and it's not even the best post. Kind of a loser, but much less stressed loser. And tonight probably wouldn't have been too much fun. My stress levels have been so high all night. And honestly, I talk about all this clean eating and exercising and how eating badly will kill you but what will really kill you is the stress. So I need to calm down and if you're anything like my friends and I I'm sure you need to as well. Just relax and be happy and do whatever YOU want to do because yes, you want to have experiences and memories, but you also don't want to die from all the stress going out caused your weak body. Not to mention all the alcohol ingested.

Me right now