Guy in the car next to me eating a Popsicle,

Don't be shy. Do your thing man no ones judging you.

.

I love how Brent booty calls me at five pm. Isn't there a time frame for that shit?

BLT wrap with Ezekiel tortilla, grape tomatoes, Applegate naturals uncured bacon, avocado in place of mayo, and spinach instead of lettuce!

Yum

Spicy 15 Bean Chili

Hola guys. Happy Wednesday ! Today's my moms birthday. Hopefully I age like her she looks damn good for 50 and drinks like a fish! Have you ever been talking to a guy who thinks he is sooooo cool and thinks that you care about this conversation when in reality you don't.. My life right now. Like lay off I don't think you're cool.. Anyway! Chili recipe:

Ingredients:

1 14.5 oz can stewed tomatoes

1 14.5 oz can crushed tomatoes

1 container cherry tomatoes

15 bean "soup" bag (can be found in the dried bean section. Comes with bag I 15 types of beans and a packet of soup mix. Throw soup mix away immediately)

1 jalapeño

1/2 sweet bell pepper

Cayenne

                              Chili powder

        Crystal or your preferred hot sauce

                              Frozen corn

                            1 small onion

                           2 cloves garlic

                              Olive oil

Method:

1. Soak beans over night in water. The bag should tell you exactly what to do but just make sure they're covered in water and they will expand! So make sure the bowl is big enough

2. Next day, caramelise your onions and garlic in a medium sized pot with salt, pepper, and olive oil

3. Add cans of tomatoes, and all the veggies. Chopped into small pieces. Let boil. Add cayenne, chili powder, hot sauce, salt and pepper to taste.

4. Cover and let simmer as long as you want (longer the better)

5. Uncover and serve with some reduced fat sour cream!

Easy right! Enjoy

Gluten Free, Dairy Free, Flour Free Chocolate Oatmeal Peanut ButterCoconut Cookies

What a mouthful! I had a hankering for something sweet after I finished laying out today, but didn't want to wreck my day by chowing down on some cookies even though I was really REALLY craving them! I decided to come up with a clean recipe for some cookies instead!

Makes 16 small cookies

Ingredients

2/3 cup steel cut oats

1/4 cup chunky peanut butter (all natural - the only ingredients should be peanuts and salt)

1/4 cup plain Greek yogurt

One ripe banana

Unsweetened shredded coconut

3 tablespoons dark chocolate

1 tsp agave nectar

Steps:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees

2. Combine all ingredients in one bowl and stir or mix until it forms a nice dough

3. Roll into balls and then roll in shredded coconut

4. Place on greased cookie sheet and bake for 20 minutes

These cookies turn out a bit more like muffins than cookies, but are incredibly moist and not too sweet! The coconut on the outside toasts up so nicely and is the best part id say! They aren't too high in calories, but still be careful how many you eat! They should be a treat not a meal :)

Cucumber Sub with Greek Yogurt Chicken Salad

I've been thinking a lot and I think the new theme of this blog is going to be "getting stoned while staying skinny" instead of the advice column it's turned into. This is because really all I've thought about over Christmas break is food and the state of my waistline. Smoking every hour on the hour tends to happen a lot more when I have no job, no classes, and a steady supply of great weed thanks to LD. So today's awesome recipe is great while high. Lots of crunch and flavor! I call it a cucumber sub, because there's cucumber in place of the bread. Awesome right?

Ingredients:

One medium cucumber

Canned chicken or shredded chicken breast

Small onion

Greek yogurt (abt two tablespoons)

Salt and pepper

Vinegar of your choice (1tsp)

I started out by cutting the cucumber open and deseeding it. I also shaved off some of the skin so it was easier to chew. The you combine all the chicken salad ingredients, and feel free to throw anything else in there. Mix and fill your little cucumber subs! Delish, clean, and low cal. Perfect snack for after that jay ;)

Chocolate Cinnamon Protein Bars

My mother is driving me absolutely mad! I now know that I will never ever ever move home after college no matter how great it seems. She's doing this "cleanse" for the new year, and today consists of only liquids which is making her a complete cow. Then when she couldn't take it anymore and reached for some string cheese, I commented on how if she was doing a cleanse she should have something more natural and she was again mean. And she keeps complaining about her stomach and headache. Well, I've been doing clean for a few weeks now and I've never felt better but she won't listen . Oh well! Today I made a few things because I'm about to go back to that hell hole that is UF and the food there :(. I made some protein bars to take with me for before class, and also some chilli because I've been craving it! The protein bar recipe was adapted from he and she eat clean and it's below. Upon tasting them, they are definitely "proteiny." Great flavor but not too terribly moist. And I just realized I forgot to add flax seed! Shoot. Oh well, they have a great flavor and the dough is better than the finished product, so I don't blame you for licking the spoon!

Ingredients:

2 cups oats, roasted in the oven without oil for 15-20 minutes

1 cup natural peanut butter no sugar added

1/2 cup 100% pure agave nectar (they used honey here)

1/2 cup unsweetened apple sauce

1 cup clean protein powder (I used chocolate, makes it delilsh!)

2 tbs 85% cocoa dark chocolate

2 tbs pecans, chopped

1 tbs cinnamon

Preheat oven to 350 degrees, and pour the oats into a pan to bake for 15-20 minutes.

While they are baking, chop your chocolate and pecans into small chunks, then combine all ingredients into a bowl.

When the oats come out, roll them into the dough but allow them to cool.

Then, place on a dish (I use a casserole dish) spread out evenly, and bake for 15-20 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. Let cool, then cut and store! Yum! Enjoy. Ill post the chilli recipe tomorrow!

So I do take back what I said about my mom.. she's a great lady and I love her a lot. Even when she's being a monster :) She really loved these bars for her cleanse. She couldn't stop talking about them! Give them a try.